A horrible day for me. The Dow ended up 37 points on negative advance/declines. Volume was average. Oil lost over 2 bucks and that gain was all the market could manage. Summation index still pointing down. The story for me was gold which got clobbered and lost over $6. Of course that killed my NEM options and I just had to bail out at the close with a loss. This after a substantial paper gain just 2 days ago. I blew it. I was greedy and stupid. I did not follow my own rules for success. I got what I deserved I guess. What happened? Greed. I should have had a stop-limit order in to protect some of the gains. For whatever reason, I did not. Why? Because I am an idiot. The signs were evident yesterday that this trade needed to be closed. I did not heed them even though I saw them. What sense does it make to pay attention when you don't even listen to what you hear? And what you see and what you know? Ridiculous. I am pissed and mad at myself for being so dumb. What a moron I was and am. How could I let myself do such a stupid thing? I am searching for answers. All the signs were there to get out and I just couldn't do it. Greed kills. Why was I so greedy? I don't know. I should have been happy that I was able to get this thing to triple. But no, that just wasn't enough for me. And to not have a stop-limit order in after a gain? What am I, an idiot? Apparently so. I really don't know where to go from here. I'm ashamed at myself for doing such a dumb thing and my confidence is shot. It will take some time to recover but I must. I've got to look deep inside and find some answers. It is hard to face the facts but this trade was totally mismanaged from the start. I had too much money in it. Bought the first bunch of options too soon. It just wasn't a smart move from the start. But to have such a huge gain evaporate before my eyes in a couple of days? It hurts to be so stupid. I need to find the reasons for my ignorance. Greed is one thing but to not follow the rules and listen to the market is another. I don't know what happened and I don't know where I go from here. Better just step aside and let things cool down before I do something stupid again. It really amazes me how dumb this whole deal was. If I can't have the discipline to heed the warnings when there are good profits to be had then I really don't now what I'm doing in this game. Pitiful. I really don't know what else to say. It's days like this that make me question why I am even in the game. You just gotta be good enough and sometimes you aren't. But trades like this will kill you. There is nobody to blame but myself. It's a lonely and pathetic feeling. I can't dwell on it forever but right now there is nothing else I can do or say. It's over but it will affect me for a while and I really can't let it. This is a bad feeling and I don't want to have it again. I haven't done anything as stupid as this in many years. I don't know why. The greed got me I guess. My mind is shot now and I don't know how long it will be before it comes back. Soon I hope but who knows? That's enough for today...