Up 5 points on the Dow in a pre-holiday session. Volume was extremely light and the advance/declines were over 2 to 1 positive. Ho hum. The XAU zoomed 3 points on good volume due to the failing health of the leader of Saudi Arabia in my opinion. Gold itself was only up a buck. So I have missed a golden opportunity and it pains me. There is nothing I can do about it now. But still when chances like this come around and you don't get in on them it is very frustrating. Yes, there will be other trades down the road. But between missing the May expiration OEX trade and now this, I can't express in words my disappointment with myself. If trading truly is the focus than it really has to be. I can not let outside influences dictate my commitment to the business. Emotionally, it just can't work that way or it will lead to more periods like this. And this isn't why I'm involved in the markets. I really don't know what to say. I've got to somehow pull it back together and get on with it. How I will do this, I don't know. I can't sit on the sidelines forever. These are really troubling emotional times for me. It just doesn't make sense. But it is what it is and I have no choice but to keep on going and see where it leads. Perhaps the weekend will clear things up. I doubt it...